REASON #1: LACK OF INFORMATION
“When we get new information, we immediately and naturally change our perspective!
First … THE PATTERN. Nod your head yes if you’ve been here.
1. You are an entrepreneur or small business owner, or you are in corporate and you also have a side business.
2. You are new in town, or you are starting a new business.
3. You search for, have found, or are already in a women’s group.
4. You invest financially.
5. You invest your time; have one on ones and meetings each week.
6. Time goes by (the amount does not matter; weeks, months or even years) and maybe you get a referral.
7. Then you hear one of the members talking about you or saying something ugly behind your back.
Here comes that old ‘sinking feeling’ about yourself. It’s upsetting yet you are strong enough to stand up for yourself by saying something to yourself (or others if you are outspoken like me) like, “Well, this must not be the group for me.”
Logical choice and ultimately you leave, feelings bruised, and begin your search for the next women’s group.
“Oh, there’s one! I like the women so much,” thinking to yourself.
Here’s what happens next.
1. You invest financially in this new group.
2. You invest your time; have one on ones, and meetings each week.
3. Time goes by (could be months, or even years) and maybe you get a client or two.
4. Then you hear one of the members talking about you, or a friend, someone tells you.
5. Sinking feeling; upsetting, “well, this must not be the group for me.”
I know how this feels. I did it myself for years, flowing from one group to another. Each one takes TIME (you never get back) and MONEY, and when you get that ‘sinking feeling’ that’s YOUR muscle of confidence you were building, DEFLATED again!
Three steps forward … and two steps back!!
In each case, you not only lose at least some of your upward MOMENTUM and your confidence … and your level of success literally atrophies and drops. Ugh.
And it goes on and on and on … until NOW!
WHY do women in business do this (scenario) to one another?
Answer: It’s automatic. It’s a HABIT because we’ve only been real business women en mass for three decades or so. Not only is breaking a habit a challenge; in most cases women are simply unaware of this.
You’ve heard this question asked countless times. I have developed a theory put into practice yielding extremely positive results by all standards.
HOW can we break this cycle of growing, stopping, searching, growing, stopping?
Answer: By simply becoming ‘aware’ of new information. We become wise through continuous learning.
What do women need to KNOW (that they didn’t know before this moment) t
hat would change this for us?
Answer: They have two ‘ways of being’ that conflict and it is easily managed.
No matter what women’s group you join, there will be at least that one woman who will undoubtedly deflate your confidence, which is a feeling of success (inadvertently or purposefully, neither of which matters).
Here it is: THE #1 reason for the Lack of Trust Among Women in Business
The Simple Truth: We have two different behaviors: One behavior is Business.The other is Social. They are COLLAPSED together for those who up until this moment, didn’t know this. Once we see this, we can earmark behaviors appropriately by distinguishing or separating them.
#1 Reason LACK OF INFORMATION De-Mystified … we do this to one another with tremendous impact … when we really learn that what we do impacts other women significantly, things change.
Action STEP: Practice splitting your two behaviors and use only Business and date and how you felt purposely managing your thoughts (which drive your behavior). Men already do this naturally, yet are mostly unaware of it.
“When we distinguish our two behaviors, we hurt fewer people, and elevate ourselves in the process.”
Watch for the #2 Reason for the Lack of Trust Among Women in Business.
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